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Unresolved Conflict: The Silent Assassin
Updated: Sep 8
In one of Matthew McConaughey’s latest movies, “The Englishmen,” the film opens with him sitting comfortably at a table in his pub. As the leader and kingpin of his organization, he feels extremely safe in his establishment. However, in the background, we see a silent assassin pull out a gun with a silencer. He points it at McConaughey’s character, Michael Pearson. A shot rings out, and the scene fades (Richie, 2019). Unresolved conflict is a silent killer of leadership and team cohesion. If left unchecked, it can wound the decision-making process and kill unity in organizational leadership during a crisis.
Understanding Conflict
Conflict and controversy are not inherently good or bad. It’s how we handle them that determines the outcomes. Controversy arises when two people want to agree, but one person’s ideas, information, conclusions, theories, or opinions may not be compatible with the other’s. In Michael Pearson’s world, controversy arises due to disagreements among junior leaders. All the senior leaders, except for Pearson, failed to recognize the danger they were in and didn’t take action to resolve the issues. As the movie progresses, the storyline expands, and the first scene is revisited. In this second take, we see Pearson’s right-hand man enter the front door. The shot that was heard earlier is shown to be his right-hand man taking down the assassin, saving Pearson just in the nick of time.
Take a moment to reflect on your ability as a leader to resolve conflict. Think of conflict resolution as your right-hand man because it truly is! Conflict resolution skills can save you from disastrous decisions, unite your organization, and defend it from outside pressures.
Identifying Silent Assassins
When dealing with unresolved conflict, look out for the following types of behaviors that can become silent assassins:
Cheetah: This person has unresolved conflict toward you or your team. They lurk in the grass, waiting for the right moment to pounce on a decision or action you want to make.
Lion: More interested in winning than reaching an agreement that benefits everyone involved.
Sloth: The passive-aggressive type who slows everything down to a crawl.
Golden Retriever: They agree with anything, even if they don’t think it’s a promising idea. They may have information that could change your mind but won’t share it, leaving you to make decisions without enough information.
Ostrich: Scared to speak up, confront, or give an opinion for fear of rejection.
Weasel: The saboteur who claims to agree but secretly tells others about the solution they think is best.
The good news is that your right-hand man—your conflict resolution skills—can be sharpened to mitigate, negate, and avoid these behaviors.
The Five Stages of Group Dynamics
The first step in the process is to understand group dynamics and decision-making. There are five stages in a group’s lifecycle: (a) Forming, (b) Storming, (c) Norming, (d) Performing, and (e) Adjourning (Johnson & Johnson, 2013). When a strike force, a new committee, or decision-making body (team) is formed, the leader should expect controversy and conflict to arise in the storming stage and prepare to handle it.
Some might think that the higher one goes in leadership, the storming stage would lessen in intensity. The opposite is often true. Normally, high-performing teams consist of strong leaders. Strong leaders can clash with far more impact than junior leaders or first-level teams. Therefore, make sure to have a conflict resolution process in place. It should be clearly spelled out in your team’s charter.
Consensus Building
The second step—and an important factor to note—is that consensus is the most reliable way to make important decisions. However, it is also the most time-consuming (Johnson & Johnson, 2013). Consensus means that each team member truly backs the decision, even if there are parts of it they don’t like. Everyone must be committed to the decision, or consensus has not been reached.
During the consensus process, group discussions provide leaders the opportunity to identify negative behaviors and dissenting attitudes. As the leader, you will be able to engage the person(s), coach them through the situation, and make them feel appreciated as part of the decision-making process. By using the following process, each of the silent assassin types listed above can be identified and mitigated. As you identify those who may be dissenting, be proactive. Engage them in conversation and ensure they have a chance to present their ideas and rationale.
Prioritize the Importance: Assess the significance of the decision or issue to ensure that reaching a consensus is the right course of action. If it is a significant issue, treat it with the respect and importance it commands.
Gather All Parties: Bring together all parties involved and invite at least one trusted, neutral person to participate.
Research and Justification: Have each individual research why they believe what they believe and provide their justification. Each person should be able to defend and advocate for their position.
Group Idea Exchange: After each person has shared their position, facilitate a group discussion. This is called Group Idea Exchange. The outcome may lead to more uncertainty, which is normal at this stage.
Identify Best Answers: After the Group Idea Exchange, identify no more than three best answers. Rethink them with the group’s input and come to a consensus. More than likely, the solution will be a combination of several ideas presented.
Staying Diligent
Although this process will help, it isn’t foolproof. Leaders should remain vigilant and be aware of the actions of those around them. If your intuition signals something amiss, pull the person aside for an informal one-on-one. There’s nothing like a face-to-face meeting (even over Zoom) to read a person’s body language and facial expressions.
One last tip: don’t ignore the rumor mill. Go directly to the person(s) involved and discuss what was heard. Many times, the rumor mill creates shadows where silent assassins wait to strike.
Using this five-step approach will allow you, as a leader, to facilitate group discussions, identify, coach, and correct negative behaviors. It also ensures that each person is engaged, making them feel appreciated. When individuals feel that their ideas are listened to and valued, they are more likely to accept the group’s decision without harboring negative feelings that may have arisen during the process. Proactive conflict resolution builds team cohesion, enhances cooperation, and aligns team members, promoting organizational unity.
If you would like more information on Leadership or Organizational Development, Greg can be reached at Gregory.Buschman@gmail.com.
Greg Buschman, Ph.D., Creative Leadership for Innovation and Change
Best Selling New Release Author in Business Management, January 2020. Coach Buschman is a leadership, organization development, and change management expert. His hallmark is improving effectiveness by coaching and developing current and emerging leaders. His training programs have touched thousands of professionals. In his latest book, “I Think, You Think, We All Think Differently: Leadership Skills for Millennials & Gen Z,” he helps bridge the leadership gap between Boomer, Gen X, Millennial, and Gen Z leaders. www.gregbuschman.com
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